Looking Back . . . .

Was it all bizarre? Was it all because of the elegance of God? Was it all because I had to experience that life menacing, breath holding and heartless incident to understand what human life is? I recall the air firing that took place in a political program prearranged by CPN Maoist in the year 2062 B.S. I feel cold when I elicit those bloody scenes and the horrors of war.

Looking back 2062

I used to hear about air firing, bombing, electric traps and bloodshed but that day I beheld all the gory events. At that time the whole country was convoluted in war. Many children were made parentless, numbers of women were made widowed and thousands were made homeless. Fighter helicopters, night vision aircrafts and bombs were all frightening things that I had heard about on those days. I used to think myself as a refugee. Life was uncertain because no one could forecast what would ensue the next day either in the farm or in the schools and offices.

An order to the villagers forced me as well to participate in the program. Maoists’ preparations and the crowd seemed carnivalesque. The program was given a regional value where several high commanding leaders and other officials from the party were supposed to be public from that day. The bulk of hundreds of guns, bombs, bullets and other arms, basket full of garlands, well decorated stage, and arrangement of systematic sound system were the attractions of the program.  The arms and weapons Maoists had captured from Nepal Army on the month of Falgun 2062 near Panchkhal were also kept in the display. Songs of Raktim group had made the whole surrounding musical. The program was about to start when a plane appeared high in the sky. For the common mass of local it was nothing new but the liberation army took their position holding rifles and ran towards the jungle. People from various sectors: student, teacher, farmer, doctor, journalist, foreigner, photographer etcetera had gathered in a single ground. The troop of people liberation army started hiding inside the houses as well. The plane disappeared after few minutes and again the troop arose and scattered in the ground. We were unaware about the happenings and those dramatic events. There was confusion for what to do and how to act ahead.

The place turned into a battle field when two fighting helicopters approached and opened the air firing. It happened very surprisingly and immediately that people had no idea what actually was happening. We were confused as to what to do and where to go. People started running all four directions. The distance between my house and the program staged place was about one kilometer. My mind totally went blank and stopped working.  We need to climb upwards for 5-10 minutes to catch a way towards home but for me the way turned out to be extended.  I held my uncle’s hand and started running. Because of his heavy weight, I could feel his inability to move faster. We tried to crawl upward witnessing the air firing, bombing, yelling, crying, and assassination. We had a challenge to make ourselves safe, escaping the battlefield. We had only just crossed half the way when my uncle stopped moving. He abruptly sat on the muddy ground and started coughing. We saw two fighting helicopters just above our head and also the army inside it. Just few meters away from us was a group of liberation army eyeing the helicopters and shooting.  We had no hope that we could escape the death.  For the reason that Nepal army might have seen the liberation army hiding behind the pine trees and promptly they could open the air firing. How could we be alive in that situation? It was for sure that Nepal army would start the operation to kill the liberation army.

 The only way we had left for us to save ourselves was to be away from the place. Uncle was already tired and too weak to move. Then we raised both our hands and gestured towards the helicopters. Perhaps the army noticed us and the helicopter changed its way. After few minutes I held my uncle and again we started moving. As soon as we reached the upper part, the place was attacked by 85 MM mortar and several liberation armies were killed. The atmosphere thundered with bombs and we could see nothing because of dust and smoke. The environment turned out to be horrific that made me numb. We had no options except reaching home as soon as possible and make the family members feel tenable.

When I reached home I did not find any of my family members. My house was congested with people far away from Melamchi to Chautara. The air firing and bombing was in its climax. I tried to search my mother in the crowd but I could not find her. It was not safe for me to ramble outside the house. So, I entered my brother’s house expecting to meet my mother and hid inside the house. I didn’t see her there as well but later I knew that she was hiding inside my uncle’s house.  After half an hour the air firing clogged and we came outside the house. That day I saw the horrors of war, the brutality and its inhumanness. The injured and dead liberation army was carried by the other liberation army. The battered shouted because of discomfort and the other used to show guns to make silent. The yard in front my house was covered with blood. The liberation army was carried in bed sheets and we could see the dripping of blood continuously from their body.

The people who were forcefully brought in the program seemed more alarmed and anxious. They had no idea what might happen ahead and how they would return to their home. At the same time I thought about the family members of those people who were struggling to make them alive.  They had no way what to do next and how to return back. People were in a very shocking and panicky state. Again after half an hour, later the helicopters appeared in the sky. By this time hundreds of injured liberation armies were carried away by their friends. The death number had also reached about hundred and it was sure for the rate to increase because many of the other injured liberation armies were in critical situation. The yard was covered with blood that plunged from the injured and dead bodies carried in the bed sheets. The air firing again started and we again hid inside. After an hour we heard the people that the army had landed nearby. We all came out of the houses and started morning towards the bombarded zone. This was the first time I saw the destruction of war and the ruined buildings. School, hospital, shops, VDC’s office, co-operative’s building, canteen, resource center, NGO’s buildings, hostel, teachers’ quarter and the village houses were destructed and smashed.

People had no words to speak. They just kept on spotting things. Some areas were already under control of the Nepal Army. The inquiry had already begun. Plenty of bags, foodstuff, artilleries, pamphlets, posters, books and many more were found by the military. They looked very excited and triumphant. Meanwhile, I remembered the liberation army and their situation. Nepal army started the investigation and found about a dozen dead bodies buried in several places. Some had no legs and many of them had no hands. Three of the dead bodies were beyond recognition because the teeth were out and whole appearance was divided into several parts. The scene was intolerable to observe and nauseating.

The college where I had taken my morning class was completely destroyed. The library, computer lab, meeting hall, administrative block all were smashed and destroyed. The roof of the houses, the beams, pillars, trees, walls of the buildings everywhere scars of bombs were clearly seen.  One of the inhabitants of ward no. 6, Bom Bahadur Karki was killed in the warfare. His both legs and hands had been apart because of the bombs. Many livestock were killed because the liberation army tried to hide themselves inside the cow shed during the air firing.

Next day a group of journalists, human rights activists, health assistants, officials reached the deserted place and interviewed the local people. Bhojraj Bhat, correspondent of the Kantipur daily and a Japanese lady journalist described all the events to the officials. I still recall that the Japanese lady newscaster had equated the happenings with the bombarding of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Nepal army was busy whole day in the disposal of the bombs and grenades scattered throughout the nearby jungle by the liberation army. The military returned the district headquarter, Chautra completing the operation late evening. Despite the counsels and the commitments of the officials and security force local people were not able to have a sound sleep afterwards. Maoists, in the name of finding the one who leaked the information about the program continued kidnapping, threatening, and giving other physical punishments to the local people. The existing secretary of Thokarpa VDC was kidnapped and freed only after ninety-five days by the Maoists. The youth were tormented and enforced to be the member of people liberation army (PLA).

It was only after the succession of people movement II countrymen somehow got the chance to respire restfully. Thousands of innocents were made the scapegoat by the both sides: Nepal army and liberation army during the eleven years long civil war. The country neither progressed nor did the people feel secure. People were deprived of their human rights and smoked very violently and inhumanely.  I had the experience of that pitiless and unforgiving trial of war. Now, while remaining far away from my house and recalling those episodes I inquire myself about the intention of that warfare. What actually people got? What actually those who had tangled and conjured the war got?

Still today I have not got the responses to my queries. I know this very well that no one has the answers to my questions. Next, those who can offer answers have been caged themselves. They are now into the same quarries they had mined and no one knows when and how they will be capable enough of taking them out of the depths!